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Sneak Peek by ~Kyoushiro15:iconKyoushiro15:



“It all happened when I was a young cub, when my entire pack was massacred right in front of my eyes by a pair of unnaturally large black wolves with eyes that glowed golden-yellow in the dark of the night.
  “There were a lot of screams, some of the strongest and the bravest of the pack tried to fight back, but they were cut down as if they were nothing more than blades of grass. The rest tried to get away, but none were fast enough to escape.
  ‘There was blood everywhere, it covered everything, one couldn’t see for the crimson blood, and smell was eliminated by the overwhelming coppery scent of blood, and the screams, they were enough for one to wish they were deaf. Even today the sounds still haunt my ears.” He stopped an shook his head, as if to clear it of the memories he was reliving. Then he continued.
  “My mother was one of the ones who tried to run. She was trying alternately to carry me and my sister to safety. She would carry one of us a little way, then go back and fetch the other. Since she had chosen a path that no-one else had chosen in the hope that the two black wolves would forget about us, there was no-one to help her. Unfortunately for her and my sister, those wolves didn’t forget about us.
  “They went after us. For such large brutes, they were so silent. We didn’t hear them until it was too late. My mother had gone back to help my sister, for we were just learning to walk then. Just as she reached her, they burst out of the darkness, straight at us.
  “At that moment I was more scared than I have ever been in my life, even when I was seeing the dead and half-alive bodies of my pack flying in the air around me to land on the ground with a sickening crunch. I remember just sitting there like the stupid little idiot that I was, unable to move and just watching, to scared and helpless to even consider trying to fight back. I wanted to help, but I was rooted to the ground where I sat with fear, and that was the worst moment in my entire life, and it will stay with me forever.” His voice carried a bitter, self-depreciating tone to it, and his eyes squeezed tightly shut.
  “The largest of the two went over to where my mother crouched, trying to protect my sister. Though she knew it was hopeless, and that we’d all die whatever she tried to do to protect us, she still tried. When that wolf came closer, she launched herself at him, attacking his head, neck, anything she could sink her claws and teeth into. I don’t know how it happened; one moment she was gnawing his right ear off, the next she was in his jaws, being crushed by those huge, killer teeth of his. I remember hearing the loud crunch as her spine was broken clean in half, seeing her lifeless corpse, broken in half, fall down then crash into the ground, right in front of my sister’s nose.
  “My sister was lucky. At least she didn’t have to live with the horrible images of all of these deaths forever replaying themselves in her mind, over and over. And her death, though compared with the others was probably  the one with the least blood, was most likely the most horrible death I’ve ever witnessed since.
  “She was  totally disregarded. In his rush to get to me, he stepped on her. She was squashed, flat as bug. I caught a glimpse of her when he lifted his paw. Her eyes were bulging out of her head, her sides had split and her guts and intestines were spilling out of them. It is the most terrible image I’ve ever seen, and I still see it. It haunts my sleep, my waking moments, and every second in between.”
©2007-2008 ~Kyoushiro15
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Submitted: September 25, 2007
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Author's Comments

Okay, this is a sneak peek into a novel I'm writing during my spare time entitled, "The Legend of the Silver Wolf". This shouldn't really give all that much away, I just wanted to see if you thought it was a good enough writing style for me to continue in. Feel free to critique in any way.
Oh, and by the way, the story is about wolves and this is the background story of one of the main characters (he's narrating it). Enjoy!

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~Daktari92:iconDaktari92: Sep 26, 2007, 2:47:06 AM Mood: Pleased
Hmmm, very good written! I just had to continue reading. One little point: You say twice time something like: The most terrible thing I've seen. I'd change one of them in : A terrible thing to see, or a terreble image. Just something, for the rest Really good, lovely story!

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Don't fly with wings, fly with your soul.

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~Kyoushiro15:iconKyoushiro15: Sep 26, 2007, 4:20:03 PM
Thanks, and I will change that mistake. Thank you for pointing it out to me, I never would have noticed otherwise.

--
If life is hard, you're not living it properly.
Did you know that thousands of kittens and puppies are killed in cold blood in animal shelters each year? And those are only the lucky ones. Those that aren't taken into homes or shelters die in the street
*Tammara:iconTammara: Jan 13, 2008, 9:08:03 AM
enjoyed your story very much.

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~Strangers are just friends waiting to happen~
~Kyoushiro15:iconKyoushiro15: Jan 13, 2008, 2:49:15 PM
Thank you!

--
If life is hard, you're not living it properly.
Did you know that thousands of kittens and puppies are killed in cold blood in animal shelters each year? And those are only the lucky ones. Those that aren't taken into homes or shelters die in the street